Everyone settles down for the night and wakes to find themselves in a desert of endless white sand, stretching on as far as the eyes can see. There are a few scarce blue trees, as well as bubbling teal pools of liquid that look almost like an oasis. In the distance, lie the towering bones of a long dead titan. Each member of the team turns around to see the rest of Ashen Cabaret are in this dreamscape alongside them, save for Jadeth. The team is also not quite alone.
Down the road, there’s a single person fighting with a hoard of dogs and lizards. As soon as the team looks at them, the hostile creatures’ attention shifts from him to them. Slender reacts immediately and lights up the death dogs with a blinding burst of his faerie fire. Shade repositions and spots a dust storm elemental waking up and rushing towards the rest of the team. Matanza and Lil’ mole charge forward with weapons ready
to intercept the creatures before they can reach Slender or Juno.
The original target of the attack, a demi-god named Ukko, spots where Shade had run off to and calls out that he has great positioning. He yells, “catch this, and throw it back,” while charging a lightning bolt in his hand. Shade tries to ask him what he means, but before he has a chance, the bolt of lightning is flying through the air directly at the tabaxi. It pierces through the death-dogs and sand drakes and soars right at Shade’s face.
With the speed of his cat-like reflexes, Shade catches it an inch away from his nose and all his hair stands on end from the sudden static electricity. He hisses a swear word and looks at the lightning in his hands. Ukko waves for him to throw it to him, and Shade whips it back with a speed just as ferocious. The powerful lightning knocks all of the non-elemental creatures out, except for the one Olaf baits away.
Olaf backs up slowly, waving his hammer like a stick. The final death-dog watches carefully. Suddenly it bolts towards Olaf, kicking white sand up around it. Olaf readies himself, and knocks it into the air with a clean uppercut of his hammer. As soon as it’s airborne, Juno fires an arrow from where she’s hidden. It pieces right through its head, and it falls to the ground dead. The team doesn’t get a chance to recover, however.
Both paladins are helpless to stop the sandstorm elemental alone, and as it passes through the sand, it stirs up two more elementals. The first throws Matanza in a whirlwind of sand, and they dig their gauntlets into the ground to stop themselves from falling back into the pool of teal liquid. Mole flies through the air as well, falling on top of Olaf hard enough that it fully wakes the dwarf from his sleep. He spins around as he wakes in Slender’s house, but shrugs and goes to pour himself an ale.
The other elementals arrive and push Matanza fully into the teal water. They feel a strange sensation overtake them but don’t notice any adverse effects except for the faint scent of fish clinging to their cape. Ukko charges up a thunderous attack, but finds that the sandstorm elementals seem to resist it. One begins rushing towards Ukko, but Shade intercepts it with the quick jab of their fountain pens towards its glowing core. Juno fires an arrow to pierce the core of the other one, and Slender takes the third out with a flaming sphere.
With the threat defeated, Ukko begins to introduce himself to the group. He’s a pale-skinned demi-god with lightning streaking through his veins as a white glow. He dusts off his dark blue cloak with matching lightning and twirls his crescent halberd around before storing it back on his back. He lets them know that his father had been captured and taken into the land of dreams. They ask who told him that, and as if one cue, a rift opens behind him.
A huge magicanical beast pounces through and lands on top of Matanza, waking them from this strange dream world as well. Ukko is stunned to see Catbot, but she seems delighted to have found him. She tells him she’s been looking for him everywhere, but that the Desert of Endless Dreams is in fact, quite endless. She is also happy to see that Ashen Cabaret had found Ukko, as they were helping the great archmage Argos, and therefore may be able to help him. She tells them all that Ukko’s father was kidnapped by the Dreadwyrm and is being kept somewhere in the desert.
Ukko is frustrated that Catbot took so long to find him, as he had been lost in the desert for an entire week. She apologizes profusely, and gives him a huge metallic lick– telling the group Ukko is one of her closest friends.
Juno steps forward and awkwardly bows to the cat-god. Catbot’s tail flicks back and forth, and she leans forward to ask Juno what she’s doing. She raises a metal paw to swipe carefully at her cape, fascinated that Bahamut gave one of his wings to her. She also asks why Juno smells like sushi, and Juno admits the cape was nearly stolen from her by a morkoth. Catbot assumes a pouncing stance, begging for Juno to share the sushi with her. Slender interrupts that while they had sushi, it was several weeks ago. Catbot doesn’t really see how this is a problem, as she is both a god and a robot, and therefore cannot get food poisoning.
Juno doesn’t understand the god, and tries to pry into her mind with her medallion of thoughts. Her surface level thoughts are in a strange language that Juno has to translate, but she is disappointed to learn that she’s only thinking about sushi. She pries deeper, and discovers that Catbot is frustrated at Ukko for being so difficult to locate. Catbot senses Juno in her mind and steps closer, towering above the half-elf. Juno steps away with wide eyes, and Catbot warns her to never try that again.
While this conversation is going on, Shade is investigating her giant metal shell and spots a loose bolt. He stealthily unscrews it and puts it on his paw to admire it. Catbot shivers, but otherwise doesn’t seem to notice the bolt missing. Mole comes forward and gives her a pet on her shoulder, and she purrs a loud deafening noise like a lawnmower running. She turns and spots the bolt on Shade’s finger, and tells him it’s a beautiful piece of jewelry and asks if he is willing to part with it. Shade’s eyes grow wide, and he admits he’s rather fond of it himself before hiding it behind his back. She’s sad he isn’t willing to sell it, and mourns that it would match her “fur” perfectly.
Ukko is busy analyzing the nearby bones, crystals, and foliage, trying to see if there is anything to be learned about the Desert of Endless Dreams. Catbot watches him shatter off a piece of the crystal, and he turns around to ask her what it is. She purrs that he should take a bite out of it, and Ukko very slowly brings it to his lips. He licks it, finding that it’s sweet and acts as a strange fizzing sensation on his tongue. He shakes his head, and heads over to the water, very carefully filling a vial so the liquid doesn’t get on him. Slender identifies it as Catbot’s coolant, and notes that it possesses some very strange and chaotic properties.
Catbot asks if the group is tired, and Ukko confirms again that he is exhausted since he had been wandering in the desert for seven days. Catbot laughs and tells him not to worry, and that she has an outpost nearby. She guides them through the endless white sands to arrive at a gate in some pale sandstone cliffs. The magicanical guards turn and stare down at the travelers from high atop the rock. Catbot opens the grand brass and iron gates and introduces them to the settlement of New Elysia.
The first thing Ashen Cabaret notices about the outpost is that it seems to be nearly abandoned. A few stray magicanicals roam around the streets as if on patrol for some nonexistent threat. They don’t even seem to notice the travelers as the group steps forward into the safety of the gates. More of Catbot’s coolant pours from brass pipes into the walls, trickling down little streams in the cracks of the cliffs to create a near hot spring appearance. Scarce tealish-blue flora has started to grow at the edges of the pools. Besides the magicanicals, the settlement appears empty at first. Even with the ones operational, there are remnants of shattered ones that have almost entirely been buried in the white sand.
Catbot lets Ukko know that the desert is too vast to travel without a guide or some indication of where to go. She recommends he investigate options with the few remaining souls that are in New Elysia. The group asks if she would be able to help, but she admits she’s incredibly busy. Before they can ask her anything else, she leaps through a dimensional rift and leaves them alone in the city.
Shade stretches his back and asks if they can go find a bar and grab a drink. Ukko agrees that he would like to know where he will be resting that night, so he leads the way towards what appears to be an inn. The sign out front informs them that it is a pub called Heaven’s Rest, but the text has long faded.
They step inside the front door and are greeted by a tiny dinosaur eating out of a dog food bowl. It turns and makes a confused rumbling noise at them, and the bartender turns around, surprised to see mortal visitors since New Elysia rarely gets any sort of visitors. Shade goes to pet the little velociraptor as Juno steps forward and introduces them. It snaps at him, but he waits a moment and tries it again. It grumbles, but allows it.
The fire elemental in the corner of the room warns them not to pet the dinosaur he calls “Feldspar.” Feldspar by this point is just accepting the pets, and the bartender seems genuinely impressed that they are able to touch him so easily. Shade runs up to the counter and eyes all the different types of ales on the shelves. Ukko follows him over and buys him a drink to thank him for assisting in killing the monsters that attacked him. Juno passes by the counter, not really caring to drink. She spots another tabaxi sitting at a table on the other side of the bar and approaches to see him swatting around a die.
He looks up at her and asks if she’s care for a little gamble, ensuring that she actually has the ethereal pieces to afford a game. She slides a piece across the table, and the tabaxi purrs and introduces himself as Oogbei. Ukko and Slender spot the gambling and sit down next to them. Oogbei is happy to see that he is getting additional challengers, and he wagers a small coin purse of ethereal pieces. Ukko, Slender, and Juno match it, and they all roll their dice. Oogbei is down behind all three of them, so he flicks his tail and pretends to think. Behind him, the werewolf trips on a stool and spills a magical die across the floor. It rolls up to Ukko’s boot, and he looks over at Oogbei, who is also staring at the dice in disbelief.
He says that surely Oogbei wasn’t planning on cheating, and the tabaxi’s eyes grow wide. He denies it, saying that he has no control over his brother and would never stoop so low. He grabs another die in shaky hands and still somehow rolls the perfect number. He exhales a shaky breath in relief. Ukko, Slender, and Juno all bust, but Ukko stops Oogbei before he can pocket all of their ethereal pieces.
He challenges Oogbei to go double or nothing, to assure them of his honesty. Oogbei reluctantly agrees, giving the werewolf one more annoyed glance. This time, Ukko rolls to the perfect number, and Oogbei busts. The tabaxi hisses and puts his head down on the table as he pushes the money over to the travelers. Ukko picks up the coin purse with a smug thanks.
On the other side of the room, Mole is still petting the dinosaur as the fire elemental watches carefully. As he’s distracted, Shade reaches into his pocket and pulls out a grenade. He slips it into Slender’s bag with a hush telling him what it was. He then goes to get another drink from the bar. Slender spots a ghost struggling to play the piano in the back of the room.
He approaches her, finding that her fingers are passing right through the keys. He leans over her to play a song, and ducks down when the bartender looks back at them. She smiles at the spirit and tells her it sounds great. The spirit blushes a deep blue and thanks her, then thanks Slender for his help. He tells her that it’s not all his hands are good at with a wink, and she lets him know which room is hers.
Ukko tries to make out what the map that was on the table in front of the fire elemental says, but it seems to change as he’s looking at it, like the desert itself doesn’t stay the same for even a moment. The elemental comes back over from getting another drink to shoo Ukko away from the map, stating only those from the spirit planes can read it. Ukko asks if he could tell them if he knows about the location of a prison in the desert. The elemental scratches his chin and leans over the map.
He notes that there aren’t any prisons in the Desert of Endless dreams, but points out a structure in the far east that could be theoretically large enough to house a cage big enough for a god. Ukko says he’ll have to give it a try, but the spirit doesn’t anticipate they’ll be able to travel that far into the desert. He suggests he could give them a ride, but he isn’t even sure if mortals would be tough enough to survive a trip with a guide.
Ukko assures him that he’s plenty tough, and the spirit asks the bartender to pour them both a drink. The rest of Ashen Cabaret gathers around as spirit explains the rules. He introduces himself as Fury and lets them know the game is called Five. Each of them have five lives, and if they can’t finish a drink without gagging– they lose a life. Last man standing wins. Juno, Mole, and Slender all pull up chairs alongside Ukko.
Fury finishes his first few drinks easily, with the only one managing to keep up being Slender. Ukko is worried about being able to find the structure without Fury, so he slyly casts a purification spell on the rest of his drinks. Juno and Mole tap out, not wanting to become any sicker. Even though Slender notices Ukko use magic on his drinks, he’s determined to beat Fury on his own.
Both him and Fury get down to their last life, but Fury gets distracted when Mole gives Feldspar a kiss on its head. He coughs out his final drink, and laughs that Slender and Ukko are pretty cool for being mortal. Ukko mentions that he’s only half mortal, and Fury ruffles his hair with his warm hands. He promises that he and Feldspar can guide the group across the desert whenever they are ready to leave. Ukko decides to go check out the other structures in the outpost before they go.
He leads the group up some ancient stone stairs towards a building nestled into the cliff face. There is a statue with glowing eyes on the top of it, but Ukko squints at it. While it sort of looks like Catbot, the horns and skeletal face are much more reminiscent of another god– The Aeon. Ukko pushes open the grand metal doors to find the building is a temple. There is a lone spirit hovering up and down the aisle to the altar, and she seems just as shocked to see other living souls in New Elysia.
Ashen Cabaret spreads out around the church to find that the rows of seats are filled with powered down magicanicals. Ukko approaches a handful of them, and asks what happened. The spirit tells the group that with Catbot’s influence weakening, she is unable to keep all her machines properly powered. Ukko pulls the vial of the coolant out of his bag and pops open the fluid intake pipes on two of the machines.
With a low buzz and flicker of their glowing eyes, they slowly power on. They stand up and draw their weapons, vigilantly watching the door. Slender steps past them and walks up to the altar, and as he does, both automatons turn towards the altar with their weapons ready– staring down at Slender menacingly.
Slender holds his hands up in surrender and reaches for his pouch of ethereal pieces to leave them as an offering on the altar. The machines don’t take their eyes off of him, and they approach him very slowly. Slender kneels and says a quick prayer for The Aeon to protect Jadeth, wherever she is. The machines both chase him away from it, and they resume standing guard.
Ukko grabs Slender and the group leaves before the automatons decide to become any more hostile with them. They cross an old wooden bridge and approach the library on the other side of the canyon. On the roof, the bronze dragon statue leans forward, letting the team see that it too is one of the magicanicals. Inside the library, there are plenty more of the tiny machine-dragons assisting a spirit by returning library books to the shelves from a nearby cart. One of the dragons picks up a large book and drops it from height, creating a thump as it hits the floor.
Ukko goes over to pick the book up, and reads the page that it popped open to. It reads: “Techaeo was created in the image of The Aeon by mortals. She ascended to godhood after mortals rose up against automatons and shattered her core on the ancient altar of Chantua. The goddess saw her as the coexistence between civilization and nature, so she saved her. In her early days as a god, Silvanus tried to poison her mindset towards civilization as being what led to her downfall. She is temperamental towards mortals now, recognizing they are responsible for both her creation and death. Her whims change almost hourly as those two emotions toil inside her. Although, her distrust towards mortals is greatly overshadowed by her anger towards–” but the remainder of the page is ripped out. Ukko closes the book, and Juno offers to fly it up onto the shelf the dragon was trying to put it on.
Ukko turns and asks the spirit of the library if she has any scrolls he can make use of as he tries to find his father. The spirit turns around and grabs one immediately. She puts it down on the book cart, and begins searching through the shelves for more. Juno swipes it into her bag while Ukko keeps the machine dragons distracted. By the time the spirit turns back around, she had forgotten she even set a scroll out– citing being lost in her thoughts. She asks Ukko again what he was looking for, and then turns to find them.
Once the gang is geared up and ready, they return to Fury and get ready to venture out across the desert. Fury’s velociraptor polymorphs back into its true form: a pale, ancient dragon. He lets everyone climb on board, and they take flight over the rolling white sand dunes.
They land at the base of a big metal tower, since the darkness erupting from the tip of it is making it too difficult for them to land at the top. A dense mist seems to be encircling the tower, much like the border ethereal in the mortal plane. The air becomes difficult to breathe, and sand is raining down from the sky like ash from a volcano. There is a massive crevice of lava that looks like a serpent had slithered across the land, separating the group from the tower. A lone rickety bridge leads the way across it, so the group crosses very carefully.
On the other side of the ravine, there is a salesman with a stall set up just outside the tower. Ashen Cabaret approaches to find that they can make purchases with their ethereal pieces, and Slender curses that he left all of his on the altar in the temple back in New Elysia. Shade buys him some healing items anyway. Ukko gives Juno a ton of explosives, seeing as she’s quick enough to be able to make good use of them.
Inside of the tower, there is a single brazier lit. The air inside seems to move around the group, so Ukko uses a detect magic spell. A spirit appears huddled around the brazier, quietly whispering: “there were so many of them, and they all came running as soon as we lit that torch.” Juno spots a number of faint outlines of bodies without any traces of blood. Based on the equipment on the floor, they almost look like they could have been the very bodies of the Ashen Cabaret. They all died like they were running towards the glowing crystals in the corners of the rooms.
Slender heads over to the piano in the corner of the room and investigates it, not finding anything in the dim light of the nearest crystal. Ukko finds a locked door and calls out to Juno, “Criminal woman, can you get this open?” Juno comments that she doesn’t like the nickname, but pops the door open for him. He can sense a presence in the cabinet, so he attacks it – killing the shadow in one hit. More growls erupt from the other side of the room, so Slender retreats towards Ukko. He runs forward with his glowing radiant magic around him, and dispels both shadow demons equally quickly. Juno finds some notes on the shadows, and looks over at the piano.
She and Slender head over to it, and begin to play the somber melody hidden in the poems on the scraps of paper.
As Slender plays the final notes, another door lock clicks open on the other side of the room. Ukko finishes lighting all the braziers, and before they can continue past the door, he finds the other piece of the discarded page of the library book: “The Aeon. Her temperament in the old war was widely considered due to her chaotic nature, but ultimately she only helped the Dreadwyrm to hurt the god who betrayed her. At the conclusion of the war, she felt as guilty as a god of chaos could for the death of Gruush. However, the death of the god resulted in a massive boost in her power as the fluctuating entropy allowed her influence to grow. It’s likely that killing any sort of being of power would cause such flux again.”
The golden statue of Catbot in the back of the room seems to stare down at him as he reads the letter aloud. Ukko steps back to regroup with everyone, concerned as to why the note would directly mention the previous God of War’s death. He worries about his father and the team becomes slightly warier about their quest. They open the door that opens to a huge metal spiral staircase and wonder what awful thing could possibly be waiting for them at the top of the tower.