Coming back from the temple of Alandreas, Ashen Cabaret spots a body on the side of the road. They head over to investigate to find that it’s not a corpse, but rather a drunken dwarf passed out on the side of the road and snoring loudly. Mole and Jadeth attempt to wake him up, and he stirs before raising a hand to his head and looking around the tropical forest.
He looks at the group and asks what year it is. Jadeth and Mole exchange a look, and behind them, Slender belts off, “Seven!” They introduce themselves, and the dwarf lets them know his name is Olaf Kegbottom. Juno relays that it’s an awesome name, and Jadeth grins at potentially having a new drinking partner. Olaf asks if any of them have any good ale on them, and Mole offers out their flask. Jadeth relays that it’s actually dragon piss, so Olaf passes on the free drink.
The dwarf sees that the group is heading back into town, and he tags along with them through the jungle. They follow the path into a narrow ravine and find that the path forward is blocked by some fallen trees. Before they can turn around or clear the path, another tree falls behind them, trapping them for an ambush. An orc warchief appears on top of the cliffs with a dangerous look in his eye and he lets his camp know he’s found fresh meat. The group prepares for a battle as more and more orcs arrive. Most worrying of all– they have a huge troll with them.
Slender immediately fires off an ice dagger directly at the troll’s junk, but it seems to completely resist it. Juno thumps him upside the head and tells him that it’s an ice troll. Jadeth overhears that and readies fire magic, but before she has a chance to attack, she’s struck by one of the javelins from the orcs above them. Matanza rushes forward and challenges the troll directly while Olaf scales the wall with his drunken boldness. Juno flies up above him to get better eyes on the attackers. She calls out all of their locations, so Lil’ Mole begins to climb the wall opposite of Olaf.
Matanza begins engaging in close quarters combat when the troll jumps from atop the cliffs to pinch Slender against the ravine wall. At the top of his cliff, Olaf pants from the climb and looks up at the warchief. He says, “hello, beautiful,” but the warchief is unable to read his sarcasm and blushes. He asks if Olaf is interested in coming back to his camp to spend the night, and Olaf agrees if he has any ale. Juno sees this all from where she’s hovering above them and calls out in disbelief if anyone else in the group is hearing it.
Jadeth yells out that they’re a bit too busy to care at the moment as the troll approaches and more javelins are hurled at the trio still in the ravine. She works with Matanza to engage with the troll, and Slender misty steps away to avoid getting crushed or frozen solid. Mole reaches the top of the cliff just as Slender casts faerie fire on the group that the dragonborn is about to engage. Mole swings their shield in a vicious bash to knock one of the orcs over the ledge. He lands directly in front of Jadeth. She glares down at him with her mask of shadows before driving her greatsword into his chest. She then looks up to try to get some of the attention off of Lil’ Mole. One of the other orcs looks down and wails, “Oh my god, they killed George!” He leaps down to engage with her as well.
Olaf waits until the warchief starts moving back towards the ravine to slam his hammer into his leg. The chief is shocked that Olaf wasn’t actually interested in sleeping with him, so he lets out a raging warcry to rally his troops. Juno fires an arrow into his shoulder, and when he turns to look at her, Olaf swings another blow to knock out his legs and crush his skull with a heavy blow from his warhammer.
Jadeth takes a hit from one of the rallied orcs, but she counters the attack with a hellish rebuke of flame. Slender laments that she’s the only one looking very injured and heals the “ungrateful bitch.”
With the rest of the enemies dispatched, Olaf chugs an ale, and he and Mole jump down to flank the troll that Matanza had been previously dealing with on their own. Juno flies above it, and it rages that she’s out of its reach. It rips a boulder from the ground and hurls it to knock her clean out of the sky. She hits the ground in a daze, so Jadeth darts forward and pulls her through a dimensional door to get them safely on top of the cliffs. Slender hits the troll with more faerie fire as the tanks move in, and Mole finishes it off with a swift warpick to the family jewels. They wag their tail as the troll collapses over, dead.
Juno and Jadeth make their way over to the orcs’ camp to find a few chests, some suspicious meat, and a fire with a horse roasting over it. Juno attempts to pick the lock on a chest, but it doesn’t give. Jadeth kicks it once, but notes that she’s too exhausted to put much more effort into it than that. The rest of the group makes their way over to the camp, and Olaf heads over to the fire to fuel it with fat harvested from the deceased troll. Matanza sits down next to him and continues taking field notes.
Slender snatches up the suspicious meat and sees the chest that Juno failed to open. He easily pries it apart himself. Mole sees him do it from where they curled up next to the flame and calls it out as Slender pockets the massive coin purse. Juno tells him off, saying that they had previously been splitting the loot, but Slender responds that its finders keepers. Jadeth and Mole head over to back up Juno.
When it becomes obvious that Slender doesn’t plan to yield, Jadeth threatens his life. Mole and Juno ready weapons as well while Matanza and Olaf watch from afar. Jadeth demands that Slender draw his weapon as she raises Thunderstick to aim it at his head, but before anyone has a chance to react, Slender opens the magic door to his house and slips away. Jadeth snarls that he can’t stay in the other dimension forever and makes her way into the biggest tent to get some rest. Juno follows her, and Mole heads back over to the campfire that has begun to have a particularly delicious aroma from the troll fat.
A short time passes before the group can hear talking in the distance about how good the fire smells. Thunderstick rouses Jadeth from sleep at the potential of danger, so she heads out to investigate the voices. She spots what she thinks are more trolls in the distance, but the ogres are quick to correct her. They stumble over to the camp to ask what the delicious smell is. Unfortunately, right as they do, Juno steps outside of the tent to see what the commotion is. The ogres spot her, and their eyes light up.
Both ogres rapidly approach Juno, so Jadeth tries to intercept with her hands out. They exclaim that Juno’s an elf, and elf meat is particularly delicious. Olaf tries to offer out some troll fat instead, and one of the ogres sticks his finger in it to taste. He smiles and thanks Olaf, as the troll fat will work well to season the elf.
Jadeth exclaims that Juno is only a half-elf and therefore has very stringy, near-inedible meat. The ogres exchange a look before asking if she had eaten the elf before. Her mind immediately goes somewhere non-food related, and she stammers as she repeats the statement back at them. Juno quickly interrupts that Jadeth had in fact tasted her once, but never tried it again because she’s not very good.
Mole offers them the suspicious meat, but upon searching for it, they realize that Slender had nabbed it before slipping away into the pocket dimension. Olaf scowls when it becomes apparent that they aren’t going to be able to talk their way out of a conflict. He takes a swing at the troll closest to him with his huge hammer, and combat begins.
Mole and Jadeth gang up on the one closest to Juno, and Olaf and Matanza focus on the one by their fire. The first goes down with a thud, but not before blowing into his war horn to summon backup. Jadeth yells for Juno to put her hood up before any more of them arrive. The other ogre grabs ahold of Juno and takes a chomp out of her arm. Jadeth throws herself at its arm to slash clean through it, and then follows up by shoving her summoned greatsword down its throat. It dies with the most satisfied look on its face from the taste of elf flesh.
Olaf grabs his barrel of troll fat and a torch before running to the ledge as more ogres begin coming up the hill. Matanza runs ahead to be able to hit them with their gauntlets, but gives Olaf the all clear to continue with his plan. He chucks the barrels as hard as he can and it explodes troll fat all over the jungle floor. He tosses the torch to ignite it, and the goblins riding on the back of the biggest ogre all are incinerated before they can escape. The battered ogres all scramble out of the way of the inferno and the flaming kenku.
The flames inspire Jadeth and Mole to both try something. Jadeth runs to line up a shot so she can hit two of the ogres at once. She casts a wall of fire and takes them both out. Mole pulls out the weapon prototype given to them by the Republic– a primitive hand grenade. They hurl it in a huge arc for it to fall at the foot of one of the ogres. It endures the hit, but upon seeing its fallen comrades amidst the growing blaze, begins to retreat. Juno and Jadeth aren’t ready to let that happen, so they both fire off long distance shots to knock it dead.
Even with the threat of ogres eliminated, the danger has yet to pass. The forest is set alight from the flames, and it begins encroaching on the camp that the group was hoping to rest in. They quickly grab some buckets, but it becomes apparent that the blaze is growing too powerful for them to contain. The smoke begins to make it more difficult to breathe as the once lush landscape is turned into ash around them. They realize they can’t abandon the inferno, however, because Slender’s key will bring him out in the middle of it.
As if a miracle of God (or just a really nice DM), some of the nearby trees lurch alive as the flames creep closer. They see the world around them ablaze and quickly begin creating a firebreak. With the flames contained, the ents replant themselves, and the fire subsides. However, not without leaving a burn scar of ash and the charcoaled husks of trees. Jadeth finally is relieved that she may be able to get some rest, so she, Juno, and Olaf head back to camp. Slender walks out of his door portal directly into one of the trees that had moved from when he left. Juno gives him a glare as he gets back on his feet, but as she’s missing a chunk of her arm, she doesn’t try to instigate anything. Slender looks around at the carnage and asks what he missed.
Matanza looks out over the barren waste that would have once been green jungle in anguish. They silently begin working among the remains to plant seeds. Mole and Slender watch what they’re doing carefully, and try to replicate it to revitalize the lands and plant new growth. They stay awake all night to ensure that the forest will someday be able to grow there again. As the pinkish hues of dawn begin to fill the sky, Slender plays a druidic song on his lute to encourage growth. One by one, the seeds begin to sprout into what will one day become the forest anew.
The group finally makes it back to Port Battleborn and heads towards Greystone Inn. The bartender from last time is no longer present, but her father comes out to greet the group. He takes a deep breath and beams with pride as Matanza has the smells of the crypt still on them. Olaf and Jadeth head over to the bar, and Olaf buys a drink for everyone in the house to celebrate the team’s victory in the temple. Jadeth thanks him and buys him a glass of top shelf ale.
Mole comes over and reaches out to try and pet the tabaxi working at the bar. She is annoyed by the gesture until Jadeth pays for her drink. Then her tail swishes at the lofty purchase and asks the dwarf if these were the travelers that funded his daughter’s college. He confirms it. The tabaxi looks at where Mole is still making puppy-dog eyes at her tail and allows them to pet her for a gold piece. Mole quickly accepts.
The dwarf hands a letter to Juno with his daughter’s address and thanks her for paying for her college. He lets Juno know that she would look forward to hearing from her. Juno isn’t sure what he means, but Slender groans and buries his face in his hands since he tried to keep his good deed secret and now the old bartender is flirting with Juno instead of him.
Juno asks if it would be possible to get a weapon crafted with her mithril ore, and since they are practically knights of Port Battleborn, the dwarf agrees. He introduces himself as Grogur Firebeard and leads the group down to his basement forge. Juno watches him work on a new sword for her, and asks if he had ever lit his beard on fire by accident. He lets out a hearty chuckle and sticks it directly into the fire to showcase that it wouldn’t have been a problem if he did. Olaf’s inspired by the weapon that Grogur shapes for Juno, and challenges him to a smelting contest.
The two dwarves get to work in a brilliant display of craftsmanship and vigor. While they begin heating their chosen pieces of metal, Jadeth drunkenly leans over to Juno to ask what she meant when she called Jadeth “her” tiefling. Juno isn’t sure how to reply, and the two of them awkwardly dismiss it. Slender rolls his eyes at the two of them and begins eyeing the enchanted swords in the back of the forge.
As the hammering begins, it becomes clear that Olaf is in over his head. Grogur shapes a beautiful and sturdy blade, but Olaf’s metal cracks and warps to make a sad looking brick of steel. He clears his throat at the conclusion and offers his creation to Grogur as a thank you. Grogur takes it over to his bench to make a note to reforge it.
Olaf asks Grogur if he knows anything about the Ironbeard family, and Grogur makes a face. He makes it clear that the Ironbeard’s are no friend of his, and spits into the fire of his forge. Olaf agrees to that, revealing that the rulers of Khem Dural killed his father. Jadeth holds out a drink and bows her head, knowing the feeling of losing a father all too well.
Slender gestures to the glowing greatsword on the table and asks if Grogur is interested in selling it. He says he would for a fair price, and Slender immediately begins haggling to make sure the price is anything but fair. Grogur catches Jadeth staring at the war pistol with a knife fastened to the front and asks if she’s interested in it. She confesses her intrigue and he sells it to her. With their new weapons in tow, they head back upstairs to the main part of the bar. Olaf lets them know that he’ll be planning to stick around there and drink as Slender leads the way towards the market.
Him and Lil’ Mole begin shopping for magic items. Jadeth and Spike head out to a nearby field and set up a picnic lunch. They toss a ball around and wait for Juno to join in, and the three of them enjoy the warm tropical sun and a nutritious meal. Slender gives up at the market and calls the girls over so they can head over to the fort and claim their title as knights.
At the fort, the man in charge of the ledgers asks for their names to give them their titles. Slender introduces himself as Slenderbard, King of the Kobolds. Lil’ Mole relays that their legal name is Molilios. Juno gives the name Alexias so as not to reveal her identity. Jadeth stammers that her name is Lunara the Sunspeaker, and the man scowls since Lunara the Sunspeaker is well known to have been killed by her wife. Jadeth struggles to come up with another name, so Juno interjects that her name is Shirley. Jadeth goes with it, introducing herself as Shirley the Temple. Matanza writes their real name down as well.
As the ledger gets everything squared away, Lil’ Mole watches some nearby knights practicing with training dummies. The captain sees their interest and offers a sparring match. Mole accepts, seeing it as a good way to hone their skills and learn new techniques. The group follows the captain back out to the field to watch and he and Mole prepare to duel.
In spite of his heavy armor, the captain is able to move surprisingly fast. He parries Mole’s attacks again and again and delivers a powerful strike that nearly floors them. He smirks and asks if anyone else is interested in joining in. Juno looks down at her new mithril longsword and confesses that she would be game to test it out. She comes to Mole’s aid and delivers the first blow that the captain was unable to deflect. He laughs proudly, but it becomes apparent that the two of them are having trouble delivering another. Jadeth watches the fight with interest, and decides to join in as well to see what sort of fighting she could learn from a Caldran knight up close.
Now being outnumbered, the captain targets Jadeth with his slashes. He hits her with multiple strikes in rapid succession, nearly flooring her immediately. She gasps in a breath and retaliates with her hellish rebuke before collapsing to the floor. Mole sees an opening and hits the captain with another blow, but he is able to return it with just as much ferocity. Slender continues playing jazz on his lute, citing that he has no interest in having his ass handed to him in public. Mole falls to the ground too, leaving Juno alone in her fight against the captain. She isn’t able to keep up with him any better than her allies could, and she finally is forced to concede as well.
Matanza chirps their interest in sparring as well to study how the captain is so easily able to parry moves. The two clash at a much faster pace than anyone else was able to keep up with– each of them moving one step ahead of the other in a display of sparks and finesse. Matanza lands a few solid hits, but even they are unable to keep up with the captain’s unnatural vigor. At the conclusion of the spar, the captain leaves healing potions next to all of the knocked out party members.
Slender wakes them, smugly letting them know he enjoyed watching their efforts. Spike runs forward to heal the group’s wounds and tells them to be more careful. Juno then asks if the group feels like heading over to see the temple where the tear of Alandreas is being kept. With the temple only having one guard, the group assumes it may be an easy heist, but of course, nothing is ever so simple.
They arrive at the temple to find that unlike the rest of the sandy port, the inside is overflowing with lush bushes and vines running up all the sandstone walls. Slender gets ready to distract the guard to allow them to steal the tear, but the guard happily waves them all over to give them his curator pitch about the temple. He gestures to the floating sphere of blue light in the middle of the temple to inform them that it’s Alandreas’ tear.
The sphere seems to be acting as a source of water for the big fountain in the middle of the courtyard, and Jadeth begins to make her way over to it as the guard continues. Water is pouring off of every inch of the sphere and down into the pool beneath them that flows out to water all the plants. Juno asks why the place isn’t more guarded since it’s holding such a powerful relic. The guard shrugs and lets them know that they don’t really need to have anyone guarding it since the sphere can only be touched by someone with Alandreas’ full blessing. As if on cue, Jadeth reaches out with a single finger to touch the sphere.
The power flowing out from the orb is overwhelming, and for a brief moment Jadeth feels like she’s the most powerful person in the world. Unfortunately, that feeling doesn’t last. She succumbs to the burning feeling, and before anyone has a chance to help her, she’s thrown across the room and slams into the wall with a bone chilling crack. One of the lenses on her goggles cracks from the impact, and she slumps over dead. There is a moment of silence as everyone stares between her and the orb in disbelief at what just happened.
Juno sprints out of the temple and screams for Spike at the top of her lungs. He comes over from the docks and is shocked to see his friend dead. He grabs the diamond from Junos outstretched hand, but the spell fails… He tells her divinity is at work blocking the spell from going through, and he will need the mass of roughly 5 thousand gold coins to act as a catalyst and break through the divine hold that some god has over Jadeth. Juno hands over the gold and Spike casts the spell. Jadeth gasps and jolts forward.
Everyone sighs in relief. Jadeth apologizes for falling asleep, even though she saw her deceased wife on the other side. She doesn’t want to admit how unnerved she was that she died, so she shakily retreats away from the thing that killed her. Slender ponders the orb, wondering if any of them would be able to touch it since they did clear Alandreas’ trial. Matanza backs away and timidly shakes their head. Juno warns Slender against touching it, but he shrugs it off since Jadeth can likely resurrect him if he does die. Jadeth snaps that it isn’t what the diamonds are for, but it’s too late. He grabs the orb and is thrown back even more violently, smashing into the opposing wall.
Juno looks down at his body in disdain, asking if it’s even worth resurrecting him after the gold incident. Jadeth sighs and lets her know that they may still need his help in saving the world. She pulls out her diamond and crushes it for her spell to bring him back to life. Slender smugly thanks her and rubs his head where it smashed against the wall.
Mole notes that they still need the orb to stop the border ethereal from spreading, so they cautiously place a hand on the orb as well. They’re able to maintain their focus, and come close to overcoming the searing pain. They finally are forced to let go of it as they fall to the ground, unconscious but not dead. Slender plays some healing magic in the form of a song and helps them up. The head guard strolls in to see the blood all over the walls from where Jadeth and Slender died, so he casually picks up the orb to begin rinsing it all off with the flowing water. They all stare at him with wide eyes.
Juno asks how he’s able to do it, and he tells them that Alandreas had chosen him to be her champion. Slender asks if he would be able to carry the orb for them, and he asks what they could possibly need it for. They all exchange looks, realizing that what they’re about to say would sound insane. Mole pulls out their shopping list and confesses that they were sent by the Arch Magus, Argos, to collect the items for a powerful spell to save the world. The captain laughs and mentions that the current king of Caldra, Alastor the Godslayer, came by with a similar list several weeks prior. Upon hearing the name of her uncle, Jadeth mutters a curse under her breath and excuses herself to head back to the tavern.
Slender asks if the captain would be able to carry the orb back to Argosia so that they can use it to complete Argos’ spell, and the captain relays it may be possible, but only if their orc problem is taken care of. After having fought some orcs, the group believes they may be able to help, so they head back to the tavern to talk about a strategy.